When it comes to Social security, we have a one-party system. When it comes to trade with China, we have bi-partisan cooperation. When it comes to little Elian, both parties say "send him back." But when it comes to sex, by God, then we have two-party system.

Republicans believe in the institution of marriage, no matter how many marriages it takes. Republicans having affairs are under a lot of pressure. What if you’re having Saturday brunch with a mistress at a suburban Coco's and in wanders Bill Bennett and his family? What if your girlfriend has to reach you at a picnic hosted by Gary Bauer? It’s enough to make Bob Livingston take to the floor of the Congress to resign for doing who knows what with whom during President Clinton's impeachment trial. Now, that’s bi-partisan ship.

And what of poor Speaker Gingrich? It must be pretty tough to have to deliver those lectures on family values while you’re dreaming about a bowl of bean soup in the House cafeteria with that winsome, tuba-playing Congressional aide.

Democrats don’t have such problems. That's because affairs are more or less part and parcel of their more enlightened partnerships. What with the Kennedys, Gary Hart, and — dare we mention it — even President Clinton, by now it’s tra-di-tion!

It’s no wonder Democrats never really warmed up to a doting monogamist like Jimmy Carter. Democratic husbands can pretty much roam at will, though these Seventies style partnership marriages tend to land them in ridiculous situations. Like Clinton looking like a condemned man with long-distance wife Hillary! in front of their honeymoon cottage in New York. Or Tony Blair conducting televised negotiations on the BBC with his wife over the changing of a few diapers.

Polls show voters aren’t much concerned about politicians' extra marital affairs. That's because a country with a 50 percent divorce rate has every reason in the world to look the other way.

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