Question: Who Is Frank Bruni?

Answer: Frank Bruni is a writer for the New York Times who followed George W. around the country during the 2000 campaign, playing Trivial Pursuit. Now Bruni is publishing one of those way-behind-the-scenes campaign memoirs called “Amblin into History,” due out March 5. Put the kids to bed; here are some of the startling revelations from Bruni’s book.

Bush was unfamiliar with lights such as Leonardo DiCaprio and NBC Dateline anchor Stone Phillips, “despite the enormous nationwide exposure of both.” Stunning though that may be, Bush is also said to like the Austin Powers movies (gasp!) and also enjoys the odd handful of Cheez Doodles. How bizarre.

Asked about HBO’s “Sex and the City,” Bruni writes Bush thought it was “an inquiry into his erotic and geographic whereabouts.” This seems reasonable, but then if you look at it from Bruni’s point of view, what other city is there besides New York?

Could it get any worse? You bet. Bush doesn’t know much about either vegans or yentas, and he’s clueless on the concept of vegan yentas.

He's no Clinton

The subtext of Bruni’s whine is that Bush is no Bill Clinton and will never match Clinton’s exquisite taste in women and cigars. The rich part of this game of 20 questions is that some people who claim to be champions of diversity have no tolerance for folks unfamiliar with Stone Phillips. Rather than revealing President Bush as some lowbrow bumpkin, Bruni is exposed as someone whose universe starts in Greenwich Village and ends in Central Park.

So, just for fun, and for Frank Bruni, see how well you can answer these vital questions:

1) Distinguish chile relleno from chile colorado.

2) Name the California city associated with Dwight Yoakam’s sound. (Extra credit: Name one of Yoakam’s songs.)

3) Abilene, Odessa and Waco are cities in Texas. Put them in order from east to west.

4) Name three songs from the popular soundtrack “O Brother Where Art Thou?”

5) Identify the city in Massachusetts that bears the same name as the capital of Oregon.

6) Art Bell’s late night talk show originates in what Nevada city?

7) Name Willie Nelson’s latest album.

8) The Houston Texans will join the NFL next year. Where did an earlier edition of Texans play and what team did they become?

9) Identify Tom Daschle’s home town.

10) Name the Olympian who sat next to President Bush during the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics and her home town.

ANSWERS: 1) Chile relleno is a chile pepper dipped in batter and fried; chile colorado is pieces of pork or beef in red sauce. 2) Bakersfield. Extra credit: Guitars, Cadillacs, and Hillbilly Music. 3) Waco, Abilene, Odessa 4) “A Man of Constant Sorrow,” “Big Rock Candy Mountain,” “I’ll Fly Away.” 5) Salem 6) Pahrump 7) The Great Divide 8) The Dallas Texans became the Kansas City Chiefs 9) Aberdeen, South Dakota 10) Sasha Cohen, Laguna Niguel, Calif.

If you answered them all correctly, congratulations—you are a Cosmopolitan American and, if you’re also up on Stone Phillips, you should consider a run at the White House. If not, take comfort in the notion that one person’s culture is only another’s trivia.

Rich Acello is a syndicated columnist; you can reach him at richace@cox.net