AlQaeda threats and stock market tankings
Warming that’s global and Alzheimer's blankings
E coli beef and strikes in the big leagues
This is what gives me apocalypse fatigue

El Nino, La Nina, and no Nina weather
Extincted birds that can’t flock together
Pig farm pollution and medicinal weed
This is what gives me apocalypse fatigue

When the Dow flops
and the rain stops
When the bills come due
I simply remember apocalypse fatigue
And then I don’t feel so blue

Saddam Hussein and George Bush Iraqing
Meteoric near misses and dental deplaquing
Baseball teams folding and Capital intrigue
This is what gives me apocalypse fatigue

When the cell phones
Turn to cell clones
When the "girls from Enron" go bare
I simply remember apocalypse fatigue
And then I can say who cares?

Greenhouse emissions and jihads unholy
Billy Bob's breakup with Angelina Jolie
The end of the world in a media blitzkrieg
This is what gives me apocalypse fatigue

When the dam breaks
When the earth quakes
When I’m counting sheep
I simply remember apocalypse fatigue
And then I can go to sleep!

Rich Acello is a syndicated columnist; you can reach him at richace@cox.net