Jim Kirst, in black shirt, celebrates his birthday at the Gaslamp Strip Club, where diners can cook their own meals. (photo/alandeckerphoto.com)

Sooner or later you’re going to wind up at Gaslamp Strip Club for dinner — the Downtown do-it-yourself steakhouse — and go away wondering why you didn’t make it sooner. At first, I was one of those “If I wanted to cook my own steak, I’ll do it at home on the barbie” people. For a person who takes pride in almost always being right about new restaurant concepts, was I ever wrong this time.

The Cohn group opened Gaslamp Strip Club almost two years ago at the foot of Fifth Avenue in the space Tupelo Restaurant (another Cohn restaurant) once occupied. After a complete gut and remodel, it was transformed into a room that would please any Austin Powers-lovin,’ post-modern hipster. Red translucent lamps, upholstered black “pleather” walls and oversized booths surround three large open-air charcoal grills that are placed around the dining room.

The room, the concept and the cuisine are designed for large parties. Have at least one drink in the bar. James the bartender is a doll; he has a great old school list of cocktails — Old Fashioned, Pink Lady and the like — and the bar is flanked by the coolest bar stools ever. Once seated, guests are greeted by a server who is tastefully clad in leather and fishnet stockings. She will drop off your menus, point you in the direction of the self-serve wine room and return when you’re ready to order.

The menu is short and sweet and offers a variety of well-priced USDA choice steaks, including the signature “Gaslamp Strip Steak,” ($17.95); the “Filet” ($19.95); the “Bone-In Ribeye” ($17.95); as well as a few non-beef items like the “8-oz sushi grade Ahi Tuna” ($15.95) and a “Double Chicken Breast” ($12.95).

The rest is easy as pie. After you select what entrée you want, the only other thing to decide is what “sides” to order and that may be tough because they’re all old favorites. Roasted garlic mashed potatoes, truffle macaroni and cheese, great big onion rings and creamed spinach are just a few. All sides are made for sharing among two to three people and are priced well at $5.95.

After placing your order and bringing your wine back to your table (the server will open it for you), a large mixed green salad arrives along with a big basket of ready-to-grill garlic bread. Divide up the duties: have one person grill the garlic bread while someone else tosses the salad. Your individually wrapped steaks are soon placed on your table and when you’re ready to grill, just grab your glass of wine and head to the “barbie.” There you will find all the seasonings and sauces you could ever need to grill the perfect steak.

Upon returning with your perfectly cooked steak (and if it’s not, you’ve got no one but yourself to blame), a server arrives with your sides. Don’t plan on having an intimate conversation. The music is loud and the crowd tends to be boisterous. The Gaslamp Strip Club is not for the modest. The walls are adorned with famous Vargas “pin-up” girl prints and silly movies like Animal House (bare breasts and all) are looped through on overhead monitors.

— Terryl Gavre