Quarter Kitchen Chef Damon Gordon presents the salmon tartare with crème fraîche and gold tobiko. (photo/alandeckerphoto.com)

You know all those crazy overblown stories you’ve heard about The Ivy Hotel? Well, they’re pretty much all true. The 159-room hotel (more than $100 million in the making) is just, pardon the oxymoron, plain opulent. If the striking architecture, gorgeous interior design, upscale accoutrements and handsome employees aren’t eye candy enough, the liberal smattering of well-dressed actor/model types dotted throughout the many bars and eating areas will ice the cake.

Quarter Kitchen, the hotel’s swank dining room, has its own entrance just to the left of the main hotel entrance on F Street. I point this out because at the time of my visits there was little signage for the property in general. I’m not sure if this is an issue with the city’s permitting department, which anyone who has tried to open a business knows is entirely possible, or maybe a deliberate attempt to be chichi. If so, it would be something of a hip and trendy move, perhaps a take on what hotelier Ian Shrager does with the Royalton or Hotel Paramount in New York, where the only indication that you’ve arrived at the correct address is the guard-like doormen standing out front.

The menu at Quarter Kitchen was clearly designed using the “something for everyone” approach. The chef, Damon Gordon, an Englishman who came to The Ivy by way of New York, says that while he may have wanted to make the menu a bit more frou frou he had to keep in mind that this was a hotel with guests from all over the country.

I loved darned near everything during my two visits to Quarter Kitchen. The menu is cleverly written, e.g., “The Raw and the Cooked” describes a salad combining chilled blanched vegetables crisp, freshly plucked from the earth, while “Coffee and Cigarettes” is the chosen name for a dessert of assorted cigarette-shaped cookies paired with warm coffee cream. Gordon, whose most recent post was Miami Beach’s Delano Hotel, wonderfully executes a playful list of well-designed dishes.

It makes sense that this eatery is directly below the hotel rooms. If you haven’t already planned on spending the night, you may well change your mind after browsing the appetizer list, replete with items begging to be served in a hotel room. The list of lusty selections includes imported caviar service, fresh raw oysters, sashimi, caviar “tacos,” and lobster ravioli. If that’s not love food, I don’t know what is.

The “Salmon Tartare” ($16) is served in three dome-shaped “vases” that are suspended from a stainless steel pedestal. The jewel-like salmon is served over an avocado mousse, then topped with crème fraîche and gold tobiko caviar. The layered presentation is gorgeous. The tartare is accompanied by toasted thin sliced baguettes for dipping or spreading.

I can’t say enough about the “Oyster Pizza” ($14), which I shared as an appetizer. Tender baby oysters are sautéed and served on a thin, yet not-too-crispy crust with mustard cream. It may not sound like your cup of tea, but believe me, this is a masterful combination of flavors and textures. I have been jonesin’ for it ever since.

Another decadent favorite is the “Kobe by the Inch” ($20). A 20-inch Kobe beef hot dog is served with homemade relish, ketchup and mustard. It’s listed in the “Enough to Share” category, but at $1 an inch, I would hoard it.

Entrees range from “Spiced Braised Lamb Shank” at $29 to the chef’s version of “Lobster Pot Pie” for $36.

Quarter Kitchen serves lunch daily and the menu features most of the dinner offerings with an addition of a few sandwiches, including the not-to-be-missed lobster club with truffled fries.

Bring your meal to a close with the “Warm Sugar Spiced Donuts” ($10). These sweet and yeasty house-made doughnuts are accompanied by a dulce de leche and a white chocolate sauce for dipping and are whimsically served in a simply darling little polished stainless steel “fryer basket.”

The exceptional serving pieces, china and flatware used at Quarter Kitchen did not go unnoticed by me. They splurged on small wares, that’s for sure, and you should splurge too. Go experience Quarter Kitchen for yourself.

— Terryl Gavre